Stage 5 critical alert. A pop starlet said something stupid on video. Ariana Grande ‘hates’ America. OK, who you gonna call for some fake outrage over the video? Fox? I knew I could count on the fine folks at Fox and Friends. Whatever you do, don’t cross the streams.

Who cares if Grande has already apologized for the remarks, saying she was joking about “how freely we as Americans eat and consume things without giving any thought to the consequences.”

Uh oh, food police and you hate America? Damn you… Are you an ISIS sympathizer, socialist pop star who wants health insurance for all? Crank it up Fox and Friends. Do America proud.

Don’t worry Ariana, you’re not to blame. No, there’s a much more sinister force at work on us millennials. President Obama. Co-host Theresa Vail led the charge saying it was “disgusting that someone could show such disrespect for her country, especially when it’s American fans who got her to where she is now.”

Mr. Kilmeade, if you please sir? “How can she walk into a donut shop – the donuts didn’t come to her! And comment on America, and yet you grew up in America and have a totally different view?”

ariana grande donuts and america

Umm, that doesn’t make a lot of sense. Technically the donuts did come to her, but there was some America-hating happening.

Back to Ms. Vail, who placed the blame firmly in President Obama’s corner.

“For the past six or seven years – and that’s a good chunk of a millennials’ adult life – we’ve had a president who doesn’t believe in American exceptionalism and doesn’t speak up for the American values this country was built on.”

I’m not even a Hillary Clinton fan, but this hilarity means she has to win. Just for the laughs alone. I’d say Donald Trump, but I’m afraid WWIII would break out within his first 12 hours. No offense, but watching the world blow up in a Roland Emmerich movie is different from living through it.

Vail kept on the attack, saying it wasn’t my generation’s fault. She “can’t blame millennials for the modicum of patriotism when for the majority of their adult lifetime we haven’t witnessed anything to make them think differently.”

The voice of reason in the debate? Shockingly Steve Doocy, who just mentioned Ariana Grande is the target of a health department investigation for licking the donuts.

Not to be outdone, conservative commentator Laura Ingraham called in to defend Americans by insulting them.

“Headline for Ariana Grande. Maybe you should re-read the lyrics to ‘Problem,’ maybe that should be your new theme. The last time I checked, the poor people who like to buy donuts also bought a lot of your stupid music!”

Hmmm, someone is frantically hate deleting music from her Spotify playlist.

In the end, it’s all Obama’s fault. Does Ariana Grande hate America? Of course not. She may hate donuts, though she was licking them.

How many of us have strolled into a store and rolled our eyes and said something ignorant about the city, state or country we live in? I do it every holiday at Walmart. Or when they call for snow here in Alabama. It’s normally me not checking the forecast and needing something simple. Walk in and it looks like World War Z.

My comments are normally ‘expletive, expletive, Alabama.’ Do I hate Alabama? Hell no. Roll Tide.

Fox and Friends? Calm down. If you weren’t so consistent, I’d say it was a bs act, but damn. You three are dedicated.

Let’s just be glad Ariana Grande finally quit wearing cat ears. That has to be a win for America, right?

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