It’s a holiday that gets more love/hate with an extra side of hate than any other. You don’t even have Neil deGrasse Tyson on Twitter angering half the country. Instead, you are forced to party, drink way too much and spend time with people you probably don’t like.
What better way to kick off your New Year’s resolutions with a giant helping of ‘why am I here.’ Me? I take the stance of if you rather curl up and binge watch Netflix, then do it. Haven’t fulfilled your yearly quota of migraines? They make nightclubs just for that.
Luckily, John Oliver has your back when it comes to the insanity of New Year’s. He jumped on YouTube for an Internet exclusive for his show, Last Week with John Oliver.
He points out the three things present in every party. “Three of the least pleasant things known to mankind: forced interaction with strangers being drunk, cold and tired, and having to stare at Ryan Seacrest for five solid minutes, waiting for him to tell you what the time is.”
John Oliver’s best excuse? Tell your friends you’re on a cleanse. No one ever follows up asking about that. They get that mental picture and you get to chill at the house.
If you’re like me, there’s something about New Year’s Eve that has you instantly tired at 10pm. Any other day, I can stay up till 2am no problems. For whatever reason, my circadian rhythm goes to hell with you, and I’m exhausted.
Tell me in the comments what your favorite New Year’s excuse is.