Yeah, it’s that time again. The American portion is under fire for hitting obscene calorie numbers and killing your diet. Granted, if you are ordering something that says ‘bottomless’, can you really be surprised?

Don’t worry though fellow Americans, the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) has our backs. Ok, the calories burned typing that name has to earn me a cheat meal, right? Who names these foundations? A Center for Stopping Stupidity sounds better. I don’t immediately get bored, and want to have a cheesecake while typing it out.

The CSPI has been putting out its Xtreme Eating Awards since 2007, and today we have our winners for 2014. The group is a health-advocacy foundation trying to educate America on healthy eating habit. Now there’s an exercise in futility. Hmm, do I want kale or that badass chocolate cake?

Enough with the what they are, it’s time to unveil the winners. Your diabetes diagnosis is included.

The Top Calorie-Filled Restaurants

Number one again this year is the Cheesecake Factory. You have to feel for the Cheesecake Factory. The company tried to reformulate some dishes to get off this list, but it just wasn’t enough.

The place literally has a 1,500 calorie slice of cheesecake. This must be a monster slice to go on top of whatever you just had for dinner. Seriously, just take an IV of sugar and get it over with. While at the Cheesecake factory, you can order the Bruleed French Toast. Yeah, this is about to get dangerous. Custard soaked bread topped with powdered sugar and maple syrup plus bacon.

To burn off the 2,780 calories, you would have to swim laps for 7 hours. Yeah, I’d like to see someone eat that and then jump in the pool.

Rounding out the top spots to kiss your New Year’s resolution goodbye include Red Robin Gourmet Burgers, Famous Dave’s and Joe’s Crab Shack

We picked on Cheesecake Factory because it is easy. But, they didn’t have the most calorie dense meal. That award belongs to Red Robin. The monster-size peppercorn burger, bottomless steak fries and monster salted caramel milkshake comes in at 3,540 calories. The amount of sodium in this meal is equivalent to four days of your daily value.

If you are on a diet and looking for a serious cheat meal spot, these four should fit the bill. People wanting to see how many calories they can put away in a single night should steer towards the Cheesecake Factory. America, baby.

Check out the CSPI’s release on the awards.

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