Neil deGrasse Tyson teaching rapper BoB

Ah, Twitter. I know your problem, and it’s not your executives bolting for the exit. The lack of product innovation. Misguided attempts to pivot into something the company isn’t.

Nope. It’s B.o.B versus Mr. Star Stuff himself, Neil Degrasse Tyson, in a rap battle for the ages. You know you’ve hit peak Internet when the damn parody YouTube channel comes to life.

Setting the stage is B.o.B. letting the world know what he thinks about our science textbooks? All wrong. The Earth is, in fact, flat. Thanks, Common Core…

Word? Hmm, didn’t you have a hit song title ‘Airplanes?’ Oh, right. Here it is:

Don’t wish, glance out the window. Notice anything? Before you say it’s a conspiracy by the airlines to create curved windows to create an optical illusion, remember these are the same jackasses that charge a fee for everything. You think they wouldn’t charge for special windows?

B.o.B. thinks the earth is flat

Whoa, what the hell is that in the background?

Neil, can you help him out?

Damn you facts.

Oh, wait, B.oB. wasn’t done. Next conspiracy? Those damn long exposure shots of star trails. Neil, educate him if you please, sir.

Uh oh, passive aggressive Neil. Quick, do the backhanded compliment:

You know you’re a jackass when one of the smartest guys on the planet starts spelling ‘dude’ like that.

And now we have the rap war. B.o.B won’t go gentle into that good night. Rage against the stupidity of your tweets. Or release a diss track on Soundcloud.

Ok, none of that makes any sense. All of this could have been easily solved by saying hit the brownies a little too hard the other night, sorry people. But, I have to admit, this is more fun.

Your move, Neil. Go Cosmos on him with your ship of imagination.

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