I jumped on my computer this morning to see what I missed from last night’s big Nintendo conference. The first thing I saw? It’s better if you just watch.

Yes, that’s a real game. Yes, you will have to pay $50 to play it. The farming simulator gone too far is part of a party game stuffed with mini-games. Only Nintendo can pull off something so absurd, yet probably hilarious to play. How the hell could you keep a straight face while pulling on a virtual udder?

Milk is part of 1-2 Switch. Here’s a trailer showing off several more mini-games.

I like my gaming sitting on my ass, but that looks like a hell of a lot of fun. And it could be Nintendo’s next Wii Sports. But it won’t.

Why? Nintendo is asking $50 for it. At least, that’s what all the retailers are listing it as.

Whoever made that decision needs to be fired. The Nintendo Wii was the huge success because all the casual gamers played Wii Sports, which was packed in with the console. They just bought the console, went home and started bowling and boxing. No extra games. No extra money.

Nintendo is kneecapping the Nintendo Switch before it’s even here. It’s not just the $50 1-2 Switch game. An extra set of Joy-Con controllers (the type seen in the trailer) goes for $80. Want just one extra? $50.

joy con Nintendo Switch controller

A traditional controller (Nintendo Switch Pro Controller) goes for $70. That’s all on top of the $300 price point for the Nintendo Switch.

I just can’t fathom how 1-2 Switch isn’t a pack-in game. It’s like Nintendo learned nothing about what made the Nintendo Wii a hit. 1-2 Switch will play great on morning talk shows. But people aren’t going to throw close to $400 for that. I just don’t see it. $250 with 1-2 Switch included would sell gangbusters.

Maybe I’m (and a lot of us) are wrong. Maybe folks go out and buy it. Or, maybe Nintendo wakes up and changes a few things before launch. I want Nintendo to succeed. A successful Nintendo is only good for the gaming industry. They bring a uniqueness to gaming that only they can.

After watching that Milk clip, I quickly jumped over to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild trailer.

Now, that’s a Zelda trailer!


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