Over-the-top destruction? Check. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson? Check. Paul Giamatti telling you the world is going to end? Hell yes. Of course San Andreas looks ridiculous, but damn do I want to see it. Come on, it’s The Rock.

Straight people’s elbow to whatever the Earth’s tectonic plates can throw at him. You know what’s even better? They kept Roland Emmerich away from this, so it won’t be 2012.

If you must know the plotline, The Rock and Carla Gugino play estranged parents who are fighting to save their daughter, played by Alexandra Daddario, in San Francisco. Add in Paul Giamatti letting everyone know just what’s up. “People need to know that the shaking is not over — we will get hit again.”

Oh, and it will be felt on the East coast. Just how strong is this earthquake? In the end, this movie is all about the visuals. It’s disaster porn. If you’re looking for an Oscar contender, it’s nowhere near Academy hipster level. No, this is straight ‘get yo’ popcorn ready.’

San Andreas Movie

So, now that we have the plot out of the way, let’s destroy California. LA? Sorry folks, you’re done in this movie. A rippling earthquake quickly makes short work of the city.

Next? The epic scene of boats racing to get over a tsunami in San Francisco before it crests. It’s nutty, but so cool looking. Yachts tumbling off the wave, and I’m hoping to see a couple ocean kayakers just for laughs.

Set your calendar reminder for May 29. California is done, but The Rock has a rescue helicopter. That’s all he needs to save the world.

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