Hey Sprint, want to make me a Facebook-only phone? Literally, all I want the handset to do is connect to Facebook. If this all sounds stupid, you’re not alone and shows the danger if net neutrality isn’t upheld.

The new plans were launched by a Sprint and Virgin Mobile partnership. I can understand the incompetence on Virgin Mobile’s part. They aren’t even in the same room as the four major carriers. Sprint? Upper management either went for a spin in the hamster ball or had some god-awful tacos.

Sprint’s new plans target families who want an increase in parental controls. Hmmm, a phone that gives a kid access to the madness of Facebook and Twitter. Someone obviously doesn’t read Facebook comments. Yeah, I get I can make $87 an hour from home, but the rampant idiocy from some accounts is astounding.

Each base plan for $6.98 includes 20 minutes of talk, and 20 texts. At $11.98 you can get unlimited access to a social network of your choosing. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest are your choices. At least your kid can bread crumb pins on their board when they are lost. $15 gets you access to all 4 apps.

“Phones have migrated largely away from ‘talking’ at this point and are much more utilized for apps, searching and making purchases,” said Ken Wisnefski, founder and CEO of online marketing agency WebiMax. “Talking is secondary. Who talks on a phone anymore?”

Well, if you are trying to get in touch with your kid, I’d assume the parent. It beats waiting on them checking their Facebook wall. Instagram a picture of dinner with #YourAssIsGrounded.

Cronut Makes Way for the Sushi Donut

This is like if your phone plan became Clash of Clans overnight and you ran out jewels. Stuck on the side of road? Get a chest of minutes for $40.

The big winners? Social media. And Janet Yellen said social media stocks were getting too speculative. This is a giant gift basket the companies don’t have to pay for.

If you are seriously considering buying into this, more apps will be added as they rise in popularity. Devices that support the plan will be available from $80 to $130 at Walmart starting August 9.

So, yesterday we had T-Mobile making their family plans cheaper. Today? Sprint decided that the app microtransaction economy has a place in the wireless plan tier.

If net neutrality dies at the hand of the FCC, this is just a glimpse of what the Internet future will look like.

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