Got your new Google Glass, iPhone 6 Plus and a smartwatch? You are probably pinging radiation detectors, and pissing off theater chains. Because, we all know we want to watch a torrent cam of some idiot via Google Glass.

Every Internet fan’s favorite organization, the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) is out with new guidelines for theaters on wearable tech. They are focused on devices such as watches and Google Glass that could possibly record the movie. Yeah, my hand isn’t that steady. Plus, I would be self-conscious about any head bobs, but hey MPAA, knock yourself out.

Here’s a portion of the statement, where they have a zero tolerance policy. “[We] recognize the strong consumer interest in smart phones and wearable “intelligent” devices. As part of our continued efforts to ensure movies are not recorded in theaters, however, we maintain a zero-tolerance policy toward using any recording device while movies are being shown.”

This begs the question, how do you enforce this? What are you going to do, start searching your patrons? They are already pissed about $15 tickets and $10 drinks. So, I pay enough money to buy a Blu-ray player just to get searched? Yeah, that’s not going to happen. We don’t need a theater TSA.

This new policy comes out after the incident in which a man was pulled from watching Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit while wearing Google Glass. Federal agents actually questioned him before releasing him. Don’t worry buddy, you didn’t miss much. It’s a Tom Clancy movie that breaks away from everything related to the Jack Ryan universe.

An interesting position for theater chains is that many wearables are billing themselves as medical devices. If they get accepted as that, the chains could be in a position of kicking a patron out for wearing a medical device. Hello lawsuit.

I get that the MPAA wants to fight piracy. It’s rampant and needs to be fought. But, are people going to be rushing to download the Google Glass version of The Avengers: Age of Ultron? That would be a no.

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