Hey, if I were the color grader on the film, I’d be distracted too. Kate Beckinsale is back as Selene in a sequel we all want, but know is destined to be a B-movie at best. But hey, it’s Kate Beckinsale as a vampire shooting guns. It won’t get you an invite to Sundance but bored on a rainy winter day? It’ll do.

After you get done watching Jon Snow drive an Infiniti in the pre-roll ad, we get down to business. The Lycan threat has returned, and our favorite death dealer has to fight with the Vampire coven that betrayed her in the first film.

Everyone she has ever loved has died, so death-dealing it is. We get Selene dropping off a cliff in footage that is overly blue. A little history lesson about the vampires and Lycans being at war for a century. Post-production must not be done because we see flashback footage to the Underworld movie with Rhona Mitra.

The Lycans have a new leader named Marius and he wants to exterminate every bloodline of the Vampires. You guessed it; the last sanctuary left holds the coven that now has to beg for her support. Her blood is the key to invincibility.

Cue up the over-the-top 3D effects and horribly done CGI. Did someone lose a bet on this film? I’m all for an Underworld film that ranks somewhere in ‘why not?’ viewing on Netflix, but damn. It’s 2016. Nothing should look this bad.

Underworld Blood Wars trailer

And can someone buy the Screen Gems team a Luts package The only bit of color besides blue I saw was someone gave Kate Beckinsale highlights at the end. Not sure how I feel about that. Our Death Dealer should keep the dark hair. And plenty of handgun ammunition.

The release date is January 2017. It’s a solid release window against little competition. Amityville: The Awakening doesn’t exactly scream blockbuster to me.

And January 2017 is Hollywood’s new dumping ground. Underworld: Blood Wars followed by another Friday The 13th movie no one wants. Get into the third weekend with the return of Xander Cage in xXx 3. Cap your January off with the theater gift card you received for Christmas with what is hopefully the final chapter of Resident Evil.

Thankfully February redeems Hollywood with the return of our favorite assassin, John Wick.

Gear. TV. Movies. Lifestyle. Photography. Yeah, I’m the type who sees a shiny object and is immediately captivated. Wait... There’s another. You can reach me at marcus@newsledge.com

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