Johnny Utah is back, baby. That’s right, there’s a Point Break remake releasing this Christmas. Why? Well…
Honestly, I have zero clue why this is getting a remake. There’s no Keanu, and I swear it looks like a xXx sequel. There comes a point in Hollywood where the remake culture jumps the shark.
And then there’s the point where Fonzie keeps launching over the shark, and you just laugh and accept our new normal. It’s my attitude at this point. You can only shake your head at absurdity so many times before you just go ‘what the hell.’
Watching the trailer is a mashup of all the cool YouTube videos you’ve seen and this year’s H&R Block commercial. Seriously, the first scene is pallets of cash being dropped from a cargo plane. Get your billions back random country…
Big-wave surfing? Damn right. Wingsuit flying? Yep. Snowboarding… Motorbikes… See? It’s Vin Diesel’s xXx.
The cast is filled with ‘hey, what movie did I see him in’ and Delroy Lindo. Delroy is and forever will be the man.
Who plays Johnny Utah? Luke Bracey. You might recognize him from G.I. Joe: Retaliation or November Man. Or, you might not. Bohdi? Édgar Ramírez in place of Patrick Swayze. You should recognize the actor from Zero Dark Thirty or The Bourne Ultimatum.
Watching the trailer, you know the actors aren’t doing these stunts. Even Tom Cruise isn’t nutty enough to pull this off. Instead the film enlisted the help of the entirety of the extreme sports world.
Surfing? Laird Hamilton, Sebastian Zietz, Makua Rothman, Billy Kemper, Brian Keaulana, Ahanu Tson-dru, Ian Walsh, Laurie Towner, Dylan Longbottom, Albee Layer, Bruce Irons, Tikanui Smith and Tuhiti Human all take part.
The insane wingsuit scenes? Jon Devore, Julian Boulle, Noah Bahnson, Jhonathan Florez and Mike Swanson.
Oh, and DJ Steve Aoki and TV Personality Sal Masekela make cameos in the film. Damn it Warner Bros… Just why? Did ESPN call complaining no one is watching the X-Games?
Point Break Release Date
All this leads to the genius at Warner Bros. who picked the release date. This Christmas. OK, a holiday release. Not seeing how this fits with a typical holiday slate, but whatever. Throw it in theaters in February and it gets some play.
There’s another movie coming this Christmas. Hang on… I think the buzz is it’s the sleeper hit of 2015.
I remember. Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Yeah, golf clap marketing department. You are going up against a damn cultural event. Hey guys, so we have a Point Break remake. Let’s toss it up against Star Wars. I’m sure we can at least make the fine print at Box Office Mojo.
Maybe Warner Bros. is hoping for a hack from North Korea so they can pull a Sony. An OK movie, but freedom of speech people. Fight tyranny and injustice with video on demand.
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