Wikileaks Press conference

It doesn’t matter if you can’t triple stamp a double stamp. There are no erasies in what will be remembered as the most surreal election cycle in American history. Wikileaks promised an October surprise to end all October surprises and delivered a rambling two-hour press briefing which also included 40% off its books.

I almost feel sorry for people staying up till 4 am. Settling in with leftover pizza. Debating buying the latest P90X product. That damn Flex Seal looks legit…

You had a lot of old people stay up Julian. 3 am is tough on Trump’s base. Hell, the only thing on at that time is infomercials or Starz showing the movie Volcano.

There was the normal Wikileaks line of we live in a bubble ‘neo-McCarthyist hysteria’ and the mainstream media is evil. McCarthyism? Really? Come on Julian. If you’re taking hacked documents and files from a country run by a former KGB agent, aren’t you the definition of what McCarthy was frothing on and on about?

Trump Supporter Rick Rolls Trump Supporters

Wikileaks had built up the press event with promises of a major announcement. Trump surrogates breathlessly built it up further promising Hillary Clinton was done.

“@HillaryClinton is done,” longtime Trump associate Roger Stone tweeted Saturday. “#Wikileaks.”

Hell, if Julian Assange didn’t give it away it would be bs, Roger Stone should have sealed it. Assange did nothing to tamp down expectations heading into this morning. He happily told Fox News his data dump would upend the race with documents “associated with the election campaign, some quite unexpected angles, some quite interesting.”

Unexpected would be if this election took a hard turn towards sanity. We know that’s not happening, but we do have a new hashtag – #wikirolled.

Alex, your business thrives with Hillary in office. Imagine all the hats you can sell. And nothing replaces the original:

Turn those frowns upside down Trump supporters. I know you’re working on about three hours of sleep, but see the fun in it. Trump Rick Rolls the press. For reasons unknown, your purported ‘savior’ did the same to you.

Can you trademark Tim Black? That’s badass, my man. And yeah, if anyone asks you to stay up till 4 am, the probability of regrets skyrockets faster than Al Gore’s hockey stick Global Warming chart.

Matt has a valid point here. Assange did push this as an event to only to remark: “If we are going to make a major publication about the U.S., we wouldn’t do it at 3 a.m.” Damn Julian, you missed Donald’s rage tweet time by 30 minutes brother.

Wikileaks Forgets its October

So, wtf does Assange have? He promised to release documents weekly for the next ten weeks. Someone should nudge him and say the election is a month out. I know you’ve been stuck in a dark room, but that’s four weeks, not ten.

As to their importance? “We think they’re significant,” was all Trump supporters got. Don’t worry Wikileaks. The press has been clicking Donald’s Rickroll link for 18 months. You still got it.

Want a nice endcap to the presser? The founder of Wikileaks made sure to make a plea for donations. YUGE donations for the best discount ever ever ever.

Just when I thought political comedy was dead, real life did this and totally redeemed itself.