Mandatory Fitbits at famed Christian school, Oral Roberts University? Isaiah 40:29 would be pleased. Yeah, I Googled it. Thou shall not lie and all…

The campus name has suddenly become unfortunate with the school’s demand that incoming students wear (and pay for) Fitbits during the spring semester.

Quick Internet, give us thy daily speculation. The Fitbits would be used to track sexual activity on campus. Wait, a Fitbit can do that? The issue is Oral Roberts code of conduct that forbids pre-marital sex.

Calm down students, you’re in the clear on if the Fitbit can track you in your dorm doing what we all assume is studying for midterms. In reality, the college wants students to get up and move around. The Fitbits would be tracked to make sure a student exercises.

A pass/fail grade will be awarded to students who hit the requirements or miss the step quota. Rather judgmental there Oral Roberts. Doesn’t the Bible say something about that?

Information Officer Mike Matthews spoke to Motherboard, telling the publication that “this is just for their grades, so they pass the class like it always has been … wearable technology is here to stay, and we are leveraging it in the best way we can in a simplistic manner.”

What fitbit would jesus wear

The Fitbits are optional though Matthews says not one parent has complained. If students choose not to wear a tracker, they will have to input the data manually. Do married students get a bonus for sexual activity?

Fitbit Jesus

Well, Jesus has endorsed Fitbit – that has to be a boon for the company’s stock. But, what tracker would Jesus wear or WTWJW for you bracelet makers out there.

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I think my man would wear the Charge HR. Something functional but not overly complicated. Keeps track of his steps while walking on water. Heart rate? Teaching a man to fish can be arduous, so keeping tabs is a must.

I would have gone with the Alta for a more minimalist approach. The ability to swap straps and the OLED screen for notifications could be essential in converting the masses. But, it’s not out till March.

Oral Roberts? A little much considering the amount of data Fitbits collect. The school maintains GPS data will not be logged, and Fitbits can’t track sexual activity. We will see how it shakes out, but it is a good thing schools are pushing kids to stay active.

Oh, for those wondering what Isaiah 40:29 says:

“He gives power to the faint, abundant strength to the weak. Though young men faint and grow weary, and youths stagger and fall, they that hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on eagles’ wings; They will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint.”

Don’t pursue fitness out of vanity. Hmmm….

So, I meal prep and live at the gym because it’s morally right? Vanity is the carrot. The squat rack is the stick. Sorry, Isaiah. Take the win people are exercising and looking after their health.

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