The marketing for Apple event today was all about the bokeh. We knew the iPhone 7 Plus would have a dual lens setup to create the depth of field except we don’t know when we are getting it.

Apple’s line is it will be an iOS update later this year. Right. So, consumers are buying a feature we have no clue on how well it will work. Saying the photos including the bokeh aren’t touched up on a pitch deck is all fine and good, but start messing with the lighting and background. The subject in the frame.

That’s a lot of unknowns when your marketing invitation for the event is a stock image of bokeh. Still, the zoom function is nice, and the upgraded processing power and true tone flash will be handy. I can’t wait to see what apps like Procamera do with the extra lens.

In case you live under a rock, Apple launched the iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus. The Plus model gets the dual lens, but the smaller 7 model isn’t left out in the cold. Optical image stabilization has made it to the smaller smartphone along with RAW capturing. The new processor allows Lightroom’s mobile app to do 90% of what Adobe’s desktop app can.

Now we need to know what the 10% is. Something tells me it’s important and don’t ditch your Adobe CC subscription just yet.

iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus Details

I love how Apple brings back an original color and makes a video like they went to the Moon for special sand. Harvested shit from the rings of Saturn and gave the iPhone a bath in it for the new Jet Black color. Guys, you brought back glossy black. I love it too, but calm down.

Apple iPhone 7 Debut Hopes For Trifecta of 'Surprises'

I demand Jony Ive give the State of the Union Address every year. He makes everything sound amazing. The melodic accent telling you you’re about to drop nearly a grand on a phone you’ll be upgrading next year.


So, it gets dipped, sanded, and some other shit. Basically, it’s faster than any other smartphone. The camera promises to be badass, and you can do silly shit in iMessages. Oh and the 16GB storage model? Officially gone. Welcome to 2016 Apple.

Apple Kills Audio Jack

It was rumored all damn year. It’s gone. And the reasons are actually compelling. Consumers want the latest and greatest features in smartphones. Unless you want to haul a brick around, space has to be made for the future. That means goodbye audio jack. You do get a dongle that connects to the lightning port.

Apple AirPods

It was going to happen. Instead of ripping the band-aid off, Apple is giving cover to smartphone and mobile device makers to ease consumers into the idea.

And it got to reinvent the wireless earbuds. Jony Ive. Kill them with kindness:

Ok, not going to lie. The Apple ear sticks – AirPods – look damn good. Beats is also releasing wireless audio accessories using the Apple W1 chip. $159 is steep for an accessory that doesn’t ship until a month after the iPhone, but Apple doesn’t do bargains.

Apple Watch

Here’s where my mind was changed. The first Apple Watch was underwhelming to me. Having the Series 2 waterproof for swimmers is a big deal. It’s more style conscious than other options, and the pricing is lower than what I expected. Starting at $369. No Jony Ive for the video, but you do get 2x the brightness for use in direct sunlight and a faster dual-core processor.

Apple Shows off iPhone 7 Plus Camera With a Sports Illustrated Photographer

One feature that got some play and it’s one that everyone never wants to use is the SOS. Press and hold the Home button and it automatically dials 911 and texts your emergency contacts. The new GPS feature will give your current location.

Apple Watch series 2

It’s my sincere hope no one has to use it, but it’s a feature that should be on every device going forward.

Apple Release Dates

For the iPhone, get your button mashing on the Apple site ready for September 9. The phones ship the following Friday. Watch customer? Same timeframe. iOS 10 makes its debut September 13.

For Macbook fans, there wasn’t one more thing. The refresh is coming this year, but Apple avoids stepping on its flagship product event with a laundry list of refreshes. Surely we will get a list of updates and features after the launch of macOS Sierra on September 20.

And that was the event. Two hours of a company telling us they make a ton of money, and you’ll grumble but acquiesce to buying because damn that jet black is slick as hell. Hell, it deserves a bath in whatever Jony Ive was talking about.

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